I do some of my best thinking in the shower. I don’t know why, it’s just the way it is. Perhaps it’s because it’s one of the few times I am left alone to my own devices. Or maybe the feel of being encompassed by warm water has a way of relieving tension to the point that your best thoughts just come seeping out of your mind. Who knows. Either way, I am deciding to make a category of posts entitled “In-the-Shower Thoughts” for the times I feel like sharing my “rainy reflections.” As you are about to read, they are not always deep. They are often just silly, but they get me thinking and prove that 24 hours of baby-talk have not made me as brain dead as I thought. And that’s what’s important my friends.
(Update: I just re-read my whole post and I think I am that brain dead).
So, this morning I took a shower and it was just lovely. Confession: I don’t shower every day. I simply don’t have the time. Though if I’m being honest, I didn’t shower every day when I did have the time. It’s not good for my hair. Regardless, this morning I actually got to shower before work. When I think in the shower, my thoughts end up in a long train. Probably because I am a female and that’s just how the female brain works: one thing connects to another, which connects to another, and so on. Here was my train of thought this morning:
Boogers on the walls → “I love blowing my nose in the shower” → “Pooper used to hate when I blew my nose in the shower” → “Pooper always cleaned the shower” → “I loved cleaning days with Pooper” → “During cleaning days, I never had to clean the whole house by myself” → “I didn’t always have a toddler trailing behind me to pull out the things that I just put away.” → “Maybe I’ll see if Pooper will come over for a cleaning date” → “For old-time’s sake, I think Pooper should clean the shower.”
Like I said, my thoughts aren’t always deep.
So why are there boogers on my shower walls? Because my husband, as handsome as he is, is a savage and loves to “snot rocket” in the shower. In our almost two years of marriage, I have come to find that he is quite like our dog Hopkins was as a puppy– VERY hard to train. So although I point out to him on a regular basis that he rockets his boogers onto the walls of our shower and that he needs to clean them up because that’s foul, he forgets. Or ignores me. Either way, it’s not okay. So this morning, I found myself staring at a few of his nasty boogers on the wall of my shower. Which led to…
Thought #2:
I will admit that I am also a fan of blowing my nose in the shower. It’s just so easy and so convenient. However, because I’m not a savage, I blow my nose into my hand then wash it off down the drain. (All of you calling me gross also know how awesome it is to blow your nose in the shower, so stop lying. You’re just being a nerd.) Which led to…
Thought #3:
Pooper is my dear, dear friend since high school. Though she has a real name, I am choosing to refer to her as I refer to her in real life: Pooper. Pooper and I were roommates in college (though really more like life-mates) and she used to HATE when I would blow my nose in the shower. She would hear me do it and yell at me through the bathroom door. I even tried to do it quietly when she was home to avoid her wrath. She’d always say: “Kathleen! You’re just as bad as my brother! You’re so gross!” [So as not to slander, I will say her brother is pretty awesome. And attractive. And single. And my back-up husband, so all you single ladies just stay away.] All this led to…
Thought #4:
Pooper always cleaned the shower. That’s why she hated my nose blowing. She claimed it clogged the drain. I maintain it was our massive amounts of hair. Moving on…
Thought #5:
Pooper and I used to have cleaning days about once a month where we would deep-clean our entire apartment. We would put on some loud music that we could dance to, she would clean the bathroom, I would clean the kitchen, we would collaborate on the living room, then go do our own rooms. Call us lame, but they were some of our most fun days. And usually ended with a celebratory and well-earned glass of wine.
Thought #6:
Hey– how come the housework stopped getting divvied up when I got married?!
Thought #7:
Cleaning is definitely not as fun when you can’t sit back at the end of the day to look at your finished masterpiece with a glass of wine. Why can’t I do that? Because as soon as I wash all the Tupperware and put it back in the cabinet, Magdalene is behind me pulling it all back out again. Follow my “progress” throughout the rest of the house and you will come to find that there has actually been no progress thanks to Magdalene, the 30-inch Mess Monster. Which brought me to the BRILLIANT…
Thought #8:
Pooper should come over to have cleaning dates with me! Sure she’d have to drive a little over an hour but it would be sooo fuuuun! Right, Poops?? So fun!!
And since all thoughts come full circle, I am brought to…
Thought #9:
These boogers are disgusting. Pooper’s definitely cleaning the shower.
And there you have today’s In-the-Shower Thought. I know you aren’t leaving this blog any wiser than when you entered, so I’ll do my part to make you a better person and leave you with a riddle:
I am the beginning of the end, and the end of time and space. I am essential to creation, and I surround every place. What am I?
If you think you know it, post your answer! Good night, and good luck.
The Depths of My Diaper Bag 